Ice Queen and the forgotten memories

Damn! Why did it suddenly rain today? It was not in the weather forecast this morning. Ugh! I should hurry or he might get sick.

I ran as fast as I could, not minding the fact that I am getting wet despite using an umbrella. The rain suddenly poured heavily this afternoon just in time when school hours ended. No one expected it, and most of the students got stuck in school trying to wait for the rain to stop. I guess no one would even think about an afternoon down pour when it was so clear and bright in the morning. The only ones who have a hassle-free time going home are the ones who are careful enough to always bring an umbrella with them. As luck would have it, I have a folding umbrella in my bag. It seems weird for a healthy high school guy at the age of fifteen to have one, but it just fits my image perfectly. A total freak.

When the park came into sight, I felt a little relieved. Just a little more and I would be able to check on him. The moment I stepped foot in the park, however, I instantly stopped on my tracks, and unconsciously hid behind a tree. I took a peek to confirm that what I was seeing was real. And it was. I was suddenly in a state of panic. Together with the cat that I was taking care of in the park was a person. To top it off, it was not just a random stranger. It was the infamous Ice Queen from school. And to be associated with her would be the last thing that I would want. It was not only with the Ice Queen, it would be with anyone well-known and popular.

What should I do now?

For the past years, I have tried my hardest to keep a low profile. I want nothing to do with people who are popular and well-known. I don’t want to attract attention to myself. I changed schools when I reached high school. I started wearing round, nerdy glasses, and grew my hair longer and had it unkempt over the summer holiday. I kept socializing with others at minimum, just keeping to myself when there’s no need to. I was labeled weird and creepy by my classmates, but it was the least of my concern. All I wanted was a peaceful and quiet life. And with all my painstaking hard work, I got what I wanted. Three years in high school and I still kept true to my way of life.

After three years, will my peaceful and quite high school life just suddenly end?

I stayed hidden behind the tree, making little to no noise at all. I watched the Ice Queen and the cat under a little umbrella, keeping them dry from the heavy down pour. Ice Queen is a nickname that people from school have given to the beautiful girl who was always expressionless, and does not associate with others. According to rumors, you would be frozen once you made any eye contact with her. That girl happens to be the one holding the cat I have been taking care of. Honestly, I have not really paid any attention to her as she is infamous in the school. But looking at her now, I can see why people called her Ice Queen. Indeed her face is that of a beauty, but it shows no emotion at all. Not annoyance due to the sudden rain, nor a smile due to the cat. Ice Queen really is a suitable nickname for her.

Should I go and leave the cat to the Ice Queen without me knowing what she will do? Or should I stay and risk my peaceful high school life if anyone ever saw us together?

I’m torn. I do not wish for my current lifestyle to change, but I’m worried about the cat. I decided to stay and kept myself hidden behind the tree. I continued to watch the Ice Queen and the cat and all of a sudden I was frozen stiff. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing right then. The Ice Queen was smiling. The Ice queen, known for being emotionless, was smiling as the cat nuzzles its nose on her cheeks. Her facial features that was always stiff and unreadable suddenly soften. I thought that it suits her better than her always expressionless face. I couldn’t take my eyes off from the sight, and did not even realize it until she started to walk away from the cat, leaving her umbrella behind. The rain was still pouring heavily quickly soaking her uniform, but it did not seem to bother her.

This is another dilemma. Should I chase after the infamous Ice Queen and share my umbrella with her? Or neglect her and keep true to my way of living? Hesitantly, I chose the latter. I know it was not right but I strongly do not wish to be associated with her.

When I was sure that she was out of sight, I immediately ran to the cat, and it purred the moment it saw me. I took it and held it close to me. The image of a smiling Ice Queen is still  stuck in my head, and for some reason, it made me feel all fuzzy inside.

So even the Ice Queen can make an expression like that, I whispered softly to the cat. It purred in response and I wondered if it was also thinking about the Ice Queen then.

 

I heard a knock on the door and it swung open half a second later. Before I could say anything, my visitor was already seated in my desk chair casually saying “Yo!” as a greeting.

I stared at the guy who was staring back at me with a smirk on his face. I immediately knew that he came for something, and it’s not something I would like. I shifted my gaze back to the midnight blue painted ceiling of my room, and stayed lying on my bed.

“What could The Tyron Perez be doing in my room?” I asked trying to sound as cold as possible.

“Well, I got some interesting news about you, so I came to check. I heard that you were…” he paused, adding suspense to his words. His eyes were twinkling with playfulness and it’s affirmatively bad news to me. “….lovestruck?”

The word he spoke quickly got me up from the bed and marching towards him. “Who the hell in this world did you even hear that from?” I asked in a threateningly low voice.

“Chill, dude!” He said instantly with both hands up, suggestive of surrendering. “I told you that I came to check about it.”

“I asked who the fuck told you that.” I asked again in the same manner. He was quiet but nonetheless gave up. The smugness of his smirk disappeared and was replaced by a sheepish smile.

“Your…Mom? ” I grumbled under my breath on his answer. Expect my mom to spread that kind of weird rumor about me.

“So, can you move now? You’re really scary dude.” Tyron said, trying to push me further from him. It was time for me to smirk.

“So even The Tyron Perez, one of the charismatic Princes of the school, could  be scared, huh?” I asked smugly.

“Dude, if you were in my position you would be as well. You really looked like you were about to kill me, you know.” He argued. I did not say anything back and returned to lying in bed.

The Princes is a group of three handsome high school boys that’s being idolized in the entire school. They were another figure just as well-known as the Ice Queen. Tyron Perez is one of the school Princes, known not only for his looks, but mostly because of his character. Among the Princes, he was the most sociable with a humorous personality, which makes people gather around him naturally.

You may ask what one of the Princes is doing in my room. Despite saying that I do not wish to be associated with popular people, there were a few exemptions. And the very reason why one of the school princes is in my room was because the three Princes happen to be my childhood friends. How do I still keep myself from getting any attention? Because the fact that I am chummy buddies with them is unknown to anyone in school. That is how I can still continue to live my high school life in peace. In exchange, I do not hang out with them as often as I did before, unless it was at my place.

“So, mind telling me what your mom was yapping about?” Tyron asked.

“Nothing, really. She just wouldn’t leave me alone.” I answered.

I came back home in the afternoon drenched from the rain, and of course it surprised my mom. What surprised her even more is that I was carrying a light blue folding umbrella that she did not recognize. The sight of me seemed to have sparked something in her mind and after attending to me, she immediately went to make a call. Apparently, the person she called was Tyron.

“You say being drenched in the rain despite having your own umbrella is nothing. What’s more? You came home with a girl’s umbrella?” He wiggled his eye brows in a funny way. “I’d love to hear what happened after school today.”

“Hid behind a tree.” I answered briefly. As Tyron said, I brought Ice Queen’s umbrella home with me and left my own with the cat. I did not use it though. I felt bad that she had to go home drenched in the rain due to my own cowardice. She might even get sick because of that. I felt responsible and thought that I should just do the same. I plan to return her umbrella tomorrow, by putting it in her locker before anyone else arrives in school.

“Huh?” He was puzzled.

“I was happy with how I’m living now, but is it even right to continue my low-profile lifestyle that way?” I asked out of the blue.

“WHAT?!” He asked, alarmed at what I said. I have not spoken about my chosen kind of lifestyle for a long time now, and the Princes did not really bother me about it. So I can understand why he was shocked that I am bringing this up now. “Wait, wait. Seriously dude what happened after school today?”

I looked at him and decided to speak of what happened with Ice Queen. “Ice Queen? You mean our school’s Ice Queen?” He tried to confirm not wanting to believe that I was talking about that girl. I nodded.

“Well, this kind of thing is not really my forte. It’s Gav’s. But in my opinion, rightfully so, letting a girl get drenched in the rain is just a turn off dude. But I understand why you did that. Anyway, just keep away from Ice Queen. It’ll be the best for you.”

“I plan to do that. I’m not changing my way of life now.” I answered. I’m not, right?

“Good to hear that. I’ll help you return it to Ice Queen. She’ll not hear a word about you, don’t worry.”

“Thanks.”

I just stared at the ceiling after Tyron left. It’s good that he will be returning the umbrella for me, but somehow I’m not satisfied about it. The image of Ice Queen’s smiling face flickered in my mind once again.

It’ll be nice to see her smile again.

 

When I came to school the following morning, there was already a huge uproar about the Princes and the Ice Queen. Apparently, before this, there has never been any encounter between them. What I heard from my loud female classmates, is that the Princes came to see Ice Queen, who was in front of her locker then, and Tyron handed him an umbrella that she immediately recognized.

“Why do you have it?” Ice Queen asked.

“Well, a little fairy asked me to return it to you, my Queen.” Tyron answered. Ice Queen stared at him and left without saying anything else.

I can imagine how the conversation went even if I did not see it for myself. And it was far from the exaggerated stories my classmates were talking about. But the incident was the least of my concern. I am more curious about the dream that I had last night.

In my dream, I was playing alone in a park. Then there was a little girl. She was wearing a red jumpsuit and white shirt, and her hair is tied up into twin pony tails. She came up to me and started talking to me. She asked me “Can we be friends?” I nodded, and we ended up playing together. It was only the two of us playing in the park. Tyron, Gav, and Phil were not there. I have known the Princes since I was a kid, and I remember that I play with them all the time. So it was weird for me to have a dream about playing with a girl without them. Maybe it’s just really a fantasy-like dream? I’d like to believe that but the dream seems so real. What’s more? The place in my dream was the park where I was keeping the cat. I have been going there ever since I can remember. So now, I don’t know if it really happened or not. Why am I even so bothered about a single dream? 

 

For the nights that followed, I continued to have the same dream. Every dream was the continuation of the previous night’s. It was like watching a film that has been broken into scenes. Along with the dream that I continue to see, I grew more curious every morning I awake. I really find it strange to suddenly see a dream about a little girl I do not know. Whether it is a memory from the past or just a made up illusion is something I am still unable to figure out.

On the passing of days, while I grew more curious about my dream, the uproar about the Princes and the Ice Queen had slowly died down. It has been a week since the incident happened, but in that seemingly short period of time, the number of stories that was born from that simple interaction were tremendous. It is indeed quite the curious thing as to how one of the Princes managed to get a hold of the Ice Queen’s umbrella, but it is mostly due to the student populace’s hunger for romance and interesting events that fueled their own imagination. The incident however is now a thing of the past for the students. The excitement that was once caused by the Princes and Ice Queen is now directed to something else that is soon to happen – the Cultural Festival.

It was that time of the year again, and unfortunately, I had been chosen to take part in the organizing committee for the festival. It was not because I enthusiastically volunteered to be one, but more like I was forced to do so. As much as I hated dealing with other people, I guess there was no escaping it this time. Everyone in the class besides me is a part of a club. And I have no excuse for not accepting the position. I thought that it would not be that drastic as we only need to do the preparation and arrangement together with the student council. The moment I attended the meeting for the festival however, I deeply regretted it.

I was late for the Cultural Festival meeting with organizing committee. When I entered the classroom where it is being held, the meeting had already began. It was still alright until I realized that I was seated right beside the infamous Ice Queen. I knew right away that something terrible is about to happen. And I was not mistaken. We were asked to pair with someone for any task given to us, and to make it worse for me, it was to be with the person seated next to us. The person on my other side is out of the question as he was already buddies with the person beside him. It was the same for the other people around us. It was like, we were left alone to ourselves like it was already decided before the meeting even started. The person who I desperately tried to avoid on the afternoon it was raining became my partner for the Cultural Festival work. Just great.

What bad luck I have.

That night, all three of The Princes came to my house. It was always Tyron who always came to see me, but Gav and Phil also visits me frequently. Unlike Tyron who’s a lot more childish, Gavin Alejandro and Philip Quiño were always level headed and well-behaved. They are undoubtedly good looking, but people don’t simply gather around them. They were more like idols admired from afar due to their personality. Both were more quiet, and more often than not, are serious. They give off some kind of aura telling others to keep their distance. Once you get to know them though, you will realize that they are just like Tyron, only more sensible.

The Princes just suddenly barged in my place like they own it. It was normal though. They were like family, and they can come and go as they please. No one mentioned about the incident regarding Ice Queen. So While we were gathered in my room, I told them about what happened in the afternoon. They only stared at me upon hearing my story.

“Uh, guys, I would like to hear some response.” I told them.

“How do you want us to react?” Phil asked. “Wow! That’s great. You’re paired with a beautiful girl?”

“Yeah. You should just keep quiet.” I answered.

“But man, that was some luck you have there.” Tyron remarked chuckling.

“I know. Some bad luck I have.” I answered. “Gav! What should I do? I really do not want to be associated with her. Or my peaceful high school life will definitely end.”

“As much as I wanted to help you, I can’t. It’s your fault for not joining any club in the first place.” Gav answered.

“Well, even if he did, it will be some kind of lame club that does nothing. So the position will still be forced unto him.” Phil reasoned, and he has a point. So it was inevitable that I will be taking part in the Cultural Festival organizing committee.

“But do I really have to be paired with her?”

“Maybe it’s fate? An inevitable fate!” Tyron suddenly remarked with a knowing smile on his face, while wiggling his brows in a funny way. I noticed that Gav shot him a look that I did not understand.

“What fate are you even talking about? It’s the infamous Ice Queen and I sure as hell want nothing to do with her.” I said.

“Do you even know who this Ice Queen is?” Tyron asked.

“She’s the school’s Ice Queen.” I answered dumbly.

“Yeah, but I mean her name. Do you even know her name?”

“No. It’s not like I’m interested to know either.” I answered frankly.

“Then, let’s wait and see until you do find out her name.” Tyron said at the same time Gav told him, “I really think you should shut up now.” Tyron raised his hands in the air and kept quiet.

“What is this deal about the Ice Queen anyway?” I asked, getting curious about the way the two of them are acting. It feels like they know something that they don’t want me to know.

“You brought her up remember? We’re just stating our opinion.” Phil answered.

“Yeah.” Gav followed up. “Why don’t you just try changing partners with someone from the group? I think someone would be glad to be paired up with her. After all, she’s a real beauty if not for her attitude.”

“That’s probable. I’ll try again on the next meeting.” I answered. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask you guys. Do you remember a girl who used to play with us when we were kids? Maybe during kindergarten?”

Once again, I received blank stares for their answers. They tried to recall the kids that we used to play a lot when we were really young, but none of them remembered anything about the girl I was talking about. I find it strange and the dream only made me more curious. Maybe she’s just an illusion after all?

It was what I believe despite the dream still continuing every night. And then one Saturday afternoon, as I was helping my Mom in cleaning the house, I came across an old photo album. It was filled with pictures of me as a kid, and in most of it, Tyron, Gav and Phil were also there. But out of all the pictures in the album, there was one that caught my attention. It was taken in the park together with a little girl. I immediately recognized her as the girl in my dream. I asked my Mom about it and she seemed to have pleasant memories about the little girl.

And so, the dream I was having about the little girl appears to be a memory from when I was a kid. Mom said that her name is ‘Mary’, and that she’s really nice and cute. Her family moved overseas a few months after I started playing with her. And as to why Tyron, Gav and Phil have no idea about her is because it happened before I met them. Now, that concludes everything. What I’m curious about now is why I ended up dreaming about her out of the blue?

But I guess the dream could wait for the time being. First, I need to deal with the urgent problem on hand – Ice Queen.

 

On Monday afternoon after classes, I hurried to the classroom for the Cultural festival committee meeting. As much as I do not want to, I tried approaching the students who are already there and asked them about switching partners. Of course, the first thing that they would ask would be about the person I am paired with. With much hesitance,I still answered honestly. I asked almost every one, but each of them told me the same thing, “Pairing with the Ice Queen? No way!”

It’s quite hurtful if I say so; it was good that I did that before she even came. They could have phrased it in a more gentle way if they do not wish to be paired with her. But then again, I’m just like them, not wanting to be paired with her. As I had no one who was willing enough to change partners with me, I am left with one solution. The only thing I can no now is to minimize associating with the Ice Queen as much as possible. We can probably work separately on our duties.

I sat on the same place I did during the previous meeting, and I can feel other students glancing in my direction. It was certainly a bad idea to talk to them, and even worse, to be paired with Ice Queen. But I am only paying for the consequences of my action. Suddenly, the chatters in the room were minimized and  noticed that the desk beside mine was being occupied. She arrived. I watched her through the fringe that hides my eyes. When she finally settled down in her seat, she looked at me and gave me a small smile. I pretended not to see it and did not respond. Luckily, The student Council president arrived and started discussing about the contents of the meeting.

I have no idea why, but just from seeing her small smile I felt a little warm. I wonder if the other students also saw it and felt the same way. But really, she looked better smiling.

Right after the meeting finished, someone barged into the room. It was a girl with long hair loosely tied to one side.

“Anne!” She called and almost everyone turned their heads into her direction, even Ice Queen. Surprisingly enough, she was headed towards the direction of Ice Queen.

“Chris? Is there something you need?” Ice Queen asked the girl.

“I’m waiting for you. Let’s go home.” She said.

“But I still need to discuss somethings with my partner.” She reasoned, glancing in my direction.

“Eh? Then I’ll just wait here until you finish discussing it.” The girl called Chris stated pouting a little.

“I don’t know when it will finish though.” Ice Queen said.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I won’t bother you.” She said, smiling with no care. “It’s alright to stay here right, Mr. Glasses?” She turned to me.

I was a little surprised, not expecting to be suddenly included in their conversation. What do I do now? I can still see everyone watching them.

“Uh, y-yeah. I guess.” I answered stuttering.

“Well, why don’t you start discussing now and make it quick.” Chris said. She pulled a chair and sat in front of me. Ice Queen also did the same. Why are they gathering around me?

“I’m sorry, but I think we should finish it quickly.” Ice Queen said. It was the first time she spoke to me.

Apparently, things regarding the cultural festival and Ice Queen are not going according to my plans. I had decided not too long ago to lessen the interaction between us because it already cannot be helped. But with the task assigned to us, it was even more impossible now. We need to come up with the poster for the Cultural Festival and I am certain that it was not something that can be done with two discussions. And somehow things just got worse from there. How did I even end up in this situation.

“Hey, can I have some of your fries?” Chris asked.

“Uh, y-yeah. Go ahead.” I answered.

“Yay!” She cheered and continued eating my fries. “Man, I was really hungry. I’m glad that you agreed to change locations.”

I can see that, I thought but did not speak it out loud. Before we could even start discussing about the poster for the festival, Chris suggested to change locations as she was hungry. I agreed since it will be much better than being in school while the students are watching us. Ice Queen on the other hand was hesitant and she kept on apologizing. Somehow, her image of a straight-laced and serious Queen was slowly shattering in my head. She is still as emotionless as before, but somehow, I discovered new sides to her that were not in any of the rumors I heard. She was clumsy; she tripped more than five times alone on the way to the fast food restaurant. She doesn’t like fries but loves mashed potato. And she has a really spontaneous friend named Chris who goes to the same school as us. None of those were in any of the rumors, but one thing still holds true. You get frozen when you made eye contact with her, and I already experienced that a couple of times this afternoon alone.

“Hey, what was your name again? I don’t think you ever mentioned it earlier.” Chris asked. “I’m Christine, but you can just call me Chris like everyone does. From class four.”

“J-Joshua Martinez.” I answered hesitantly.

“Hmmm, alright Joshua Martinez it is then.” I nodded in agreement. She never shut up does she?

“Oh yeah, this Ice Queen here is actually named Mary Anica. But just call her Anne. She doesn’t really liked being referred to as Ice Queen you know?” She informed me.

“Chris, aren’t you talking too much?” Ice Queen, or Anne, rather, finally spoke in a rather irate tone.

“I always talk too much anyway.” She informed, and I could not help but snort. Through my fringe and glasses, I can see that they were both surprised by my reaction.

“Heh. So you actually react like a normal person too huh?” Chris remarked.

“Well, I am human after all.” I answered.

“Say, why is your hair so long. It makes you look like a creep you know?” She said.

“I am one anyway.” I answered quite honestly.

“Wow! I’m starting to like you. But seriously, your hair is bothering me. At least style it nicely if you prefer long hair.” She informed me. “Ah! Let me guess. Maybe you’re one of those types…the really good looking ones but they are just hiding it.” She giggled and looked at me. I kept quiet, not wanting to talk anymore than I did.

“What, no come back? Boring! But do something about your hair. I’ll probably see you again.” She ordered. God! She’s really something.

“Chris.” Anne spoke again, glaring at Chris. The latter just shrugged as if she was not concerned at all. “I’m really sorry about her attitude. You can just ignore her blabber.” I already know that. She’ll probably get along well with Tyron though.

“So about the poster. What should we do about it?” Anne asked.

“For now, let’s just come up with ideas on our own. Then we can plan on a design on the next meeting.” I answered.

“That’s a good idea.” She answered.

“So you’re making a poster for the festival? Why don’t you just asked your brother to do it for you, Anne?” Chris looked at her. What did she mean?

“But this is work that was assigned to us. We should do it ourselves.”

“But you could get better results if it was done by a professional you know?”

“I know, but as I-“

“Sorry, can I just ask what is this about your brother?” I interrupted.

“He works as a graphic artist, so it’s his field but…”

“Well, Chris is right. It’ll be better if he can help us with it. Ah, but maybe he’s too busy with his work?”

“Not really. If Anne asked him he’ll definitely do it no matter what. He has a sist-!” Anne interrupted her by covering her mouth.

“You’re really talking too much.” She said.

Now that’s settled. Of course we need to think up of how we wanted it but that will be quicker. My prayer has been answered. We don’t need to have frequent discussions about this matter anymore. Now all I need is for someone to save me from this very predicament. How can I get out of here?

As if on cue, my phone rang. Tyron was calling me. I looked at the girls in front of me and they only nodded.

“Yes?” I answered.

“Dude, so that was really you?! Can’t believe this! Why are you out with two girls? And with ice Queen to boot!”

“Don’t know either.”

“Do you even realize that you are hanging out with Ice Queen right now?”

“Yes. But…” an idea sparked in my head. “I understand. I’ll head home right now.” With that, I ended the call and pretended to be in a hurry. I excused my self from the girls saying that something came up at home. I don’t exactly feel sorry for hanging up on Tyron though.

Right now, I was saved and that’s what matters.

 

“Joshua, you know Mary is going somewhere with Mommy and Daddy.” The little girl said.

“Where?” I asked.

“Far, far away. Mommy says we will ride a big airplane so we can go there. It’s Mary’s first time to ride a plane you know?” The little girl said.

“When are you going? Is it after the sun goes down?” I asked again.

“Mary don’t know. Mommy only said that we will be going there.”

“Okay. But you have to tell me when you are going.”

“Okay, Mary will…but why?”

“So I can say bye-bye to you.”

“Mary will. I will also tell you about the far far away place after I come back. And then we will play again!” the little girl said with a big smile on her face.

“Uhn. Let’s play again after you come back.”

“Mary has something to give Joshua. Wait.” She rummaged through her small bag that hung around her petite body. Things fall off as she did so and I picked them up one by one.

“I found it.” She said happily. She handed me a small card that was secured in plastic wrapping and has a lace on it.

I looked at it. It was her identification card. “Why are you giving me this?” I asked not knowing what to do with it.

“Mommy says that if Mary got lost, that will bring me back home. So Mary thinks that after I ride the big airplane to go to the far far away place and got lost, she can return home here because you have it.”

“Okay. So I will keep it properly so you can come back here.” I answered.

“Yeah. Mary wants you to do that.” She giggled. I kept the card in my pocket making sure that it will not fall off. Then she held my hand and pulled me towards the playground. We started playing while singing a song.

Every single night, the only dream I have will always be about the little girl named Mary. She used to be a playmate of mine until she left to go overseas with her family. We have not really known each other for a long time, just barely half a year, but we used to be really close. At least that was what Mom told me.

It was already strange that I suddenly dreamed of the past. And now, I’m starting to think that it’s creepy to have similar dream every night about the girl who only belongs now to my memory. Honestly, seeing how I was back then was quite entertaining although it is happening in the strangest way possible. In the day and age where technology is a norm, I’m seeing something that happened in the past not through videos and dvds, instead it was through a dream.

Except that one time that I asked the Princes if they knew about the girl I was talking about, I had not mentioned anything more about her to them. Not especially about me dreaming of a little girl. I would sound like a lolicon if I did that. As weird as I ready am, I at least knew my limits. And I as hell am sure that I don’t swing that way.

 

 

Writer’s Notes

This is a story I created 5 or so years ago. I’ve been hooked with reading once again, and when I had a chance to read this story after storing it in my drafts for some years, I just wanted to find out what happens next. As a reader, I’m curious as to how the story will flow. As a writer, I’m not sure how the story will unfold. So keep a look out for new updates on this story. I’m currently working on the next chapter, but it’s still a work in progress. 

Journaling

Of which this blog is also a form.

Since last year, I have planned on designing my own journal. Seeing a lot of journal spreads in my social media feeds, I was attracted to do so as well. I think it suits me just fine. I have been keeping journal/diary since I was in high school? Or grade school? I can’t remember but it was already that long. Writing journal entries of my everyday life used to be a normal thing. Besides helping me remember things better, it keeps my thoughts in order too. It was time consuming in a way, and tiring if I have loads to write about, but a fun way of remembering things.

While photos speak a thousand words, written entries of your journal reignite emotions that you had while writing them. I used to spend some time reading my old journals, and there were things I wrote down that I can’t even remember. Your journal is your life biography. It tells your stories from your point of view. It saves you the time of trying to remember things for when you become famous too (according to Diary of a Wimpy Kid).

So this year, I planned and designed my own journal pages on a monthly basis. It’s only July but I have nearly used up a whole notebook for my first ever DIY journaling. I am trying both bullet journaling, with enough space for note-taking (for when I need it) and doodling.  I also make collages of stickers and washi tapes. It’s a pretty colorful mess right now.

Righr now, my journal is not only meant for memory keeping and notes taking. I added trackers for my habits, skin care, sleep, budget, and even food. It’s basically my lifestyle on paper. It helps me monitor my activities and my health in a way.

It’s a bonus that I love stationeries. I tried to stock up on my supplies since last year so I can be prelared for my journaling project. I bought sticker books, more stickers, and washi tapes. My favorite shops are Muji, Tokyu Hands, Daiso, Spotlight, Art Fried, and Overjoyed right now. They have everything I need. I also purchased brush pens, liner pens, and colored pens to use. I’m still learning about brush pen lettering but it’s a pretty nice way to kill time and relieve stress. And there are so many ways to use a brush pen, so it’s fun playing with it.

Again, it’a really time consuming activity especially since I make my journal spreads on a monthly basis. I had to think of my theme and try to design my journal spreads within the same theme. I need to prelare my trackers, calendars, and other things that I need for my monthly journal. Since I’m also a working adult, I don’t have a lot of time to reserve for my journaling activities but I make do with what I can.

If you’d like to see out my journal pages, please check in Instagram account: @skechpadforletters