Everything’s a glum

20/01/2016 § Leave a comment

Been away from any other websites for a few weeks now, except archiveofourown (AO3) and tumblr. I’m so much into reading stuff that I am once again sacrificing my own sleep for it. Well, it was all for the sake of keeping my mood up, I guess. Though recently I am feeling like wanting to stop it soon, but then again, I am feeling like that every now and then, but here I am, still reading. I can’t help it whenever I found a story that seems interesting and discovered it to be really one. It’s a cycle, really.

So, yeah. I’ve been in a damp mood since the start of this year, and in a really bad slump too. I’m not moody in the bad kind, but more like, something is just nagging at the back of my mind. And I don’t know what it is. Like a voiceless whisper, telling me to do something. As to what I have no idea. I sometimes get that kind of feeling, and I just become very wary, afraid to do the most unthinkable mistake I might do. So I just go on with my everyday but not really wanting to do anything productive or anything besides my work, and my normal eat sleep pattern. Even drinking is not in the list.

Work has been mentally exhausting me, since December. It was better now but I have not recuperated from the stress of the holiday. There was this one day that I was off from night shift and I made appointments with a few people and I was tired but I did not want to sleep. I feel so toxic then so I bought a pack of my normal cigarettes and take a drag out of one stick. I get the desire to smoke once in a while. It actually surprised me that I have not done it a while ago since work has been pretty hectic from December. Now that pack just sits in my bag waiting for the next turn it will see the light. I’m not a smoker, I just smoke on rare I’m-too-stressed-to-care occasions. Then, after that one stick, I slept nicely until the following day. I hated the after taste of a cigarette but the high caffeine in my system probably killed that sensitivity by now.

I was done finding a new room to move to as well. That was one of my stress-factors. My current accommodation get this construction noises and drilling vibrations since the site is just next to my apartment building, and literally next to my room. It stops at night time but I work on shift schedule so I can’t bear with that anymore. The old building has been completely torn down now and I am certain about a new building coming up because it’s in the central area. And I can only imagine how disturbing that would be for my abnormal sleep patterns so I decided to move. Luckily the new place is only at Bendeemer, just a few more minutes down my current place, though farther from my workplace. It’s not gonna be walking distance anymore. It’s a small room, slightly smaller than my current one, but I will be living with my fellow citizens, and they are all girls. I really do not want to live with with people of my nationality, because it calls for trouble, but oh well. The room was decent with a nice view of the park in a high floor. The best part is that it’s very quiet too.It’s not an air-conditioned room, but I can managed with a fan until I get a portable air-con. And it will be walking distance from my beloved cafes. I can’t wait. I’m moving next week and I already got my friend to help me then.

I’m adding January to my bad months now. I haven’t had the best of luck since 2016 entered. I probably used most of my luck last year. At least it could still get better.




Post Happy Christmas

26/12/2015 § Leave a comment

This year was not the same as the last.

First, I did not go to Bukit Panjang for Christmas where I have celebrated it almost every ear without fail, except this year apparently. I could not help it. They were not in the house on the eve, and probably on the very day either.IN exchange, they invited me to come over for New Year’s which just so happens to be convenient to my every tight schedule.

Secondly, it was my first Christmas actually spent full time in Reception. I did not know how busy they actually are, but granted that we did not hit a hundred percent this year, it was probably better than last year’s. It was however, still busy. For the past week that I have been doing morning shift, it’s been pretty quiet between seven to ten in the morning. After I come back from my much deserved lunch break, it will start to be a mess. Until the end of my shift that I still have to stay for an hour or two because I need to finish attending to the guests and check my transactions. I don’t really mind, except when I am already off duty and hidden in the safety of the back office, and my colleagues would still look for me because the guest either wanted to speak only to me, or because I blocked the room for the guest but did not really see the guest. I wanna ask them, “what will you do if I am already out of the hotel? Will you call me and ask me to come back just because the guest wanted to speak only to me?” And I will definitely fill that with as much sarcasm and ill-intent I could muster with a smiling face.

Honestly, it did not feel like Christmas at all. I did go out for dinner with my friends though, and got really drunk on 23rd, and had a hang over on 24th when it was apparently busy. It wasn’t a terrible hangover that I can’t even stand up without having to puke, but the mild kind where there is just a feeling of slight dizziness. And the food wasn’t exactly Christmas eve-y too….

It’s the next year next week, and to sum up my year, it’s been one whole year of greatness, fun and travelling. I hope next year will be just as fun, and maybe more fulfilling too.

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