Stranger still

31/05/2017 § Leave a comment

I like to travel; most of the time alone. Many would say that it is a good opportunity to broaden your horizon, your scope of knowledge; to witness life in other places, something that is not your norm. In a way it is. You get to experience life in general, to see what is a common thing in a different land, to have a taste of a different culture, and to understand another language.

To some it is a way of escape. Going to a different land, away from your everyday, routine life, gives you a chance to discover a different part of yourself, soul searching to put it simply. Or it could be a way to ease your mind, and just relax you body from your everyday stresses. Perhaps to recreate yourself, be a different person than how you normally are. Travelling solo opens up that opportunity for you.

Travelling to a stranger’s land, where you know no one, nor anyone knows you, and everything is completely different, gives you a kind of thrill, a mix of excitement and fear. It sparks a kind of courage you didn’t know you have, and kindles a curiosity and thirst for something new and different. It boosts your energy just so you could fulfill a once-in-a-lifetime kind of adventure.

My basic reason for travelling solo is the difficulty to arrange a travel plan with friends, specially if everyone is working in different places. It doesn’t give you the kind of hassle of always waiting for someone, or always considering someone whenever you go about the day. You can always change your plan however you see fit. Over the period of time that I have been travelling alone, which wasn’t very long to be honest, I have compared cities within the same country, its way of life, the good and bad attributes of each. I have appreciated the simple things, enjoyed a meal I normal wouldn’t have, and opened up to newly met people. I was more outgoing and fearless. Being on a different country, with no one to support me, seems to awaken another personality from deep inside me. It feels like I am myself but at the same time I am different.

Don’t you have times when you feel like you are a stranger even to your own self? The best time to unravel that personality is when travelling solo. As a bonus, you get to expand you network of friends.

 

Sorry that I don’t have a BOYFRIEND?

27/05/2017 § Leave a comment

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

I have been asked this question far too many times, and I have been answering with the same “No, I don’t.” every single time. This month just happened to be, for some odd reason, the most that I have been asked about it, or been talked to about it. A stranger I have newly met, a few long time friends, friends’ relatives, people from work… My friends even created a Tinder account for me, just so I could find a person to date. Apparently they are very much concerned about my love life, and may be, just for the fun of it. Honestly, I have not been using the app, but they do whenever I meet them.

I am a private person, but I am not going to be denying it if I am ever in a relationship, or seeing someone. Really, I don’t even know why I have been single for a very long time now. I am not a very sociable person, nor a I good at being in throngs of socializing beings. I can handle a small group, a handful of humans just fine though. I am an introvert, so socializing has its limits for me. I am snobby, but that is me being wary of strangers. I basically do not trust anyone, or what anyone is saying, specially strangers. I can probably go on with a long lists of why I do not have a boyfriend, but it still would not an answer as to why I do not have a boyfriend.

My friends, and other people my age are getting married, creating a family of their own, while I am in my own little world doing the things that I want. I am pretty satisfied with my current way of life, though there is much to be desired but being in a committed relationship with someone is just not the top of my priority. It should be given my age, but it just wasn’t.

I might possibly be hung up with my previous boyfriend, which have been years ago. But since he was my first boyfriend, the idea of a boyfriend is just difficult to recreate in my head. It might be that I am afraid of being intimately involved with someone again, because I realize that I could possibly have attachment issues. Letting go of something or someone that have been way too dear to me is a difficult feat. Maybe that is why I do not really open up or try to be close with anyone…because letting go hurts, and coping up could take forever.

Coincidentally, I found my ex’s last name in our PMS, which might be his relative granted the details are very close. I saw it while passing by the computer my colleague has been using and I actually did a double take. I just ended up saying, “WTF?! Seriously? OMG!” I just felt like being asked about a boyfriend far too many times this month alone and seeing his family name just hits way too close to home. I do not thin about getting back together or rekindling a past relationship. I should probably have a word about his relative with him but I do not think we would be in a relationship with each other again. Nope. A big no just because.

I know this is just me rambling, but hey, it’s my birth month.

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