Sorry that I don’t have a BOYFRIEND?

27/05/2017 § Leave a comment


“Do you have a boyfriend?”

I have been asked this question far too many times, and I have been answering with the same “No, I don’t.” every single time. This month just happened to be, for some odd reason, the most that I have been asked about it, or been talked to about it. A stranger I have newly met, a few long time friends, friends’ relatives, people from work… My friends even created a Tinder account for me, just so I could find a person to date. Apparently they are very much concerned about my love life, and may be, just for the fun of it. Honestly, I have not been using the app, but they do whenever I meet them.

I am a private person, but I am not going to be denying it if I am ever in a relationship, or seeing someone. Really, I don’t even know why I have been single for a very long time now. I am not a very sociable person, nor a I good at being in throngs of socializing beings. I can handle a small group, a handful of humans just fine though. I am an introvert, so socializing has its limits for me. I am snobby, but that is me being wary of strangers. I basically do not trust anyone, or what anyone is saying, specially strangers. I can probably go on with a long lists of why I do not have a boyfriend, but it still would not an answer as to why I do not have a boyfriend.

My friends, and other people my age are getting married, creating a family of their own, while I am in my own little world doing the things that I want. I am pretty satisfied with my current way of life, though there is much to be desired but being in a committed relationship with someone is just not the top of my priority. It should be given my age, but it just wasn’t.

I might possibly be hung up with my previous boyfriend, which have been years ago. But since he was my first boyfriend, the idea of a boyfriend is just difficult to recreate in my head. It might be that I am afraid of being intimately involved with someone again, because I realize that I could possibly have attachment issues. Letting go of something or someone that have been way too dear to me is a difficult feat. Maybe that is why I do not really open up or try to be close with anyone…because letting go hurts, and coping up could take forever.

Coincidentally, I found my ex’s last name in our PMS, which might be his relative granted the details are very close. I saw it while passing by the computer my colleague has been using and I actually did a double take. I just ended up saying, “WTF?! Seriously? OMG!” I just felt like being asked about a boyfriend far too many times this month alone and seeing his family name just hits way too close to home. I do not thin about getting back together or rekindling a past relationship. I should probably have a word about his relative with him but I do not think we would be in a relationship with each other again. Nope. A big no just because.

I know this is just me rambling, but hey, it’s my birth month.

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