The Night I Met You
19/07/2014 § 1 Comment
2nd November XXXX
The one thing I least expected already happened. I never thought that there would be that possibility. I never imagined that there is at least one percent chance that it would ever occur, but it did. It was something that had never crossed my mind nor something that I could have dreamed of. Maybe, if that chance meeting with Jacob never occured, it would be the only thing I would be waiting for every second. However, things were different and the me right now did not even have the chance to think about anything related to the matter. Still, the fact that it came was something that I could do nothing about. The moment that it should happen is already here.
One message. That was only what took him to cause chaos in my mind. It was only three words from him that put my emotions into a whirpool of confusion.
Can we talk?
If truth be told, I don’t know. Could we? Should we? Would I be fine talking to him after a week? Iknow that eventually this day will come, however, I did not expected it to be this soon. We used to plan for days we could go on dates but things were different now. We were not meeting up for a date. We were meeting up to talk, a seirous talk. I am not sure whether it was the right thing to do but I agreed. I agreed because whatever we were going to talk about or whatever happens when we meet, I know that Jacob will still be there for me. I know that he was willing to listen to me. I am sure that he will comfort me and make me feel at ease like he had always done. I know that no matter what he will still stay by my side. I maybe too confident about it but I just feel that it will be like that.
It was the sound of the doorbell ringing throughout the front room that informed me that the moment is finally there. The last second anxiety crept up on me. It will be the first time that I am meeting him all by myself. Am I ready? No, I don’t think any kind of preparation could help me. All I have to do is held my head high and go through it without breaking myself into tiny pieces once again.
When I opened the door, nostalgia overcame me. It felt strangely familiar and new to me at the same time. He was there standing just outside my apartment in his charismatic stature just like how he has done in the past. The only difference is that, now, I don’t feel anything but anxiety. The excitement and giddiness that I used to feel whenever I meet him was not there. I feel nothing but anxiety. Should I be worried about how I felt? I mean, I finally met the guy who used to be my boyfriend for five years but I was not feeling anything. It was like my emotions was all drained out of me, leaving my body as a vessel to receive what is yet to come. Maybe I really am weird.
If I look back a few days ago, when I just met Jacob, I would simulate situations when we finally meet again. It was mostly me doing nothing but inflicting pain upon myself. A few days ago, I have thought that I would be hurt when I see him again. I thought that surely I would break into unstoppable tears and beg him to come back to me. But that was before I get to know Jacob and his merry band of friends. Now, those thoughts were burried in the farthest back of my mind.
It felt like that time that I saw him by chance in the cafe was a foreboding of what is yet to come. Truthfully, I felt like I was about to cry at that time but not a single tear break through my facade. I was able to hold my tears and my composure. Now, my thoughts of being broken once again when we meet seemed like a silly dream. I didn’t break into tears nor did I feel upset about it. Now, I could think nothing of the guy who stood before me except that he was only the person who used to be my boyfriend and childhood friend. Somehow, it seemed like I am some cold hearted woman, but maybe I really am.
Who would have thought that spending a few days with a not-long-ago stranger could change me this much. I have been dependent on my friends and my ex-boyfriend. I have always kept myself to the comfort that they have provided me. I thought that it was time for me to break free from their care. In the end, however, I had Jacob who helped me with the task. And because of him I was able to change myself. I became stronger and braver. I can stand tall without letting my silly insecurities get the best of me.
At first I was undecided on whether I should agree on meeting him or not. He wanted to see me and talk to me on the same day that I planned to meet with Jacob. But if I were to tell Jacob everything, I thought that it would be better to clear my feelings about my past relationship first. Somehow I felt like doing it that way would ease me of any worries afterwards. I had informed Jacob that I would be late for whatever surprise he was preparing for me. He doesn’t seem to be that much concerned about it when I told him that it was not an emergency.
Alright, I’ll wait. See you later, Angel.
That was his last message. I wanted to see him too and I hope it could be sooner. I know nothing of the surprise that he was preparing for me but that was just like him. I have always been surprised of everything that we did for the past week. Fishing, firing a gun, a night race, cooking, seeing a meteor shower, being surrounded by fireflies, and even listening to a live music being played for me…All the things we did, and all the things I did with him were things that I never would have thought, no, I could never even think of, happening in my life.
And yes. I already prepared myself about telling him how I truly feel about him. I may have just gotten out of a relationship, but at least I could convey to him my thoughts and feelings about him. It was not only because of Kyle’s dare. It was also I want to know what he thought of me, and how he felt about me. I can’t wait for tonight to come faster. I want to see him and be by his side again.
Subject for revision. Anything found to be inconsistent with previous and future chaptres shall be revised accordingly.
Just an update, though no one might be interested: I have been reading Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gable. I was done with that book, but I was on the third book of the story. My words at the moment were probably inflicted with how the story was written. But hey, I find Anne really interesting, and I only have a copy until the third book at the moment. I was dying to find the fourth and fifth copy because I am reading too fast that I finished the second book in two nights. I’m taking my time with the third book seeing that I haven’t anything to follow it. And honestly, I wanted to read a story written in Gilbert Blythe’s point of view. Oh, I know I’m talking nonsense right now. Why, I am nothing but in love with the story. And I find pure and innocent love affairs of the old times thousand times more romantic that the lewd ones of today. Yours truly, the little street cat 🙂