The Night I Met You
05/07/2014 § Leave a comment
1st November XXXX
The time for my judgement finally came. It was announced by the sound of the doorbell that rang loudly in the front room. It startled me so much that I almost dropped the glass that I was about to place on the table. I quickly finished setting up the table appointments and ensured that everything is properly set before I paced towards the door, panicking as I did so. He is here. He really came. The words kept repeating inside my head like it was some sort of chant. I actually waited for him to call me saying that he would not be able to make it tonight. I thought that it will be the best way instead of telling him that the plans for tonight would be cancelled. I waited for the whole hour after Kyle left but it was futile. There is no way I could back out of this now.
I took a deep breath before I turned the knob of the front door. Calm down. Clear your mind. I thought to myself as I opened the door revealing Jacob in all his handsome glory. I was in awe as I look at him, but immediately snapped out of it, afraid that he might think I’m weird or something. It felt the same as the first time he came to my apartment. He was wearing a simple outfit that look stylish on him – a simple white shirt, a light washed jean and blue sneakers. This time though, there was no bouquet of white roses. It only took me one look at him to know that he was in a perfectly good mood, so much that it seemed that all his happiness is leaking out of him.
I gave him a small smile as my hands tried to straighten my dress, that I believe had crumpled from setting the table. The material felt weird so I looked down on it only to find myself in another embarassing situation. I was still wearing the only apron in the apartment that I was very much reluctant to use. If only Kyle had not insisted on me using it I wouldn’t even dare touch it. Why did I even forgot to remove it in the first place? Oh yeah, I don’t want to dirty the dress that I am already wearing so I unwillingly used it first. I had no idea at all why my cousin even bought an apron of such design. It was actually a very simple one, and despite the baby pink color, I wouldn’t hate it so much if not for the two words printed on it in simple, block letters. EAT ME.
I had wished for him not to notice but it was not granted. He asked me if it was a new fashion, which I don’t really have any respond to except for the blush on my cheeks. If not for the stupid apron I wouldn’t have placed myself in another embarassing state. I already humiliated myself enough when I accidentally fell asleep in his place, and I even lied about cooking. It would seem that I always show him my clumsy side even if I did not intend to.
As for the dinner, I would say that it went suprisingly well. I almost backed out the last minute on letting him eat what I made, because I was not very confident with my cooking. Even though Kyle think that it was okay, Jacob’s standards of cooking were high. I know for sure becaue I have tried some of his dishes before and they are nothing but a delicacy. And my skills could not even be compared to his. Somehow, my female ego is being crushed just from the thought that a guy can cook better than me who is a girl. What’s more? When he showed me a bright and expectant smile when we spoke about dinner, it just made my ego sank even further. Why did I even lie about cooking?
While we were eating, I kept on glancing at him because I wanted to see how he would react to my food. I couldn’t read his expressions well though, actually I was never able to. He seemed to be enjoying the meal but he was not saying anything. I would be fine even if he says that my cooking actually sucks but I felt like I was even scolded for thinking like that. Before I could rant about the foods that I made, he fed me with a piece of chicken from his share of the meal, using his own fork. He fed me using the fork that he already used and it surprised me so much that I was instantly rendered speechless. I mean what he did was like an indirect kiss, even if it was nothing for him, it was something for me. Just what does he think he was doing then? Don’t guys usually think about their actions towards girls? But it was Jacob I am talking about and he was someone who knew how to treat girls properly and he could even read me like an open book. Maybe I was just thinking too much about the little act that he did, but I couldn’t help it. For a while now, I have already started to grow more conscious of him. His actions, especially towards me, is affecting me so much but he didn’t know it.
At least after the little act the he pulled, he finally said something about the meal, and praised my cooking skill. I felt guilty about it,so I honestly admitted to him that I couldn’t cook and that I got my friend to help me with everything. Of course he was surprise and even called me a bad girl for lying. My declaration of cooking was really a bogus lie at first, but thanks to that I was able to discover a new talent for myself. If Jacob said that my cooking was good, then I feel like I might actually have an unpolished talent for it.
After the meal, we decided to watch a comedy movie that I was not paying any attention to at all. My attention was focused on unraveling the mystery of the present that he gave me when he came. It was a midnight blue box and according to him, inside it was something that he wanted to give me. I tried inspecting the box for several times, turning it upside-down, diagonally, side-to-side, and all, but my effort of finding just one tiny little hole or opening was in vain. The box was completely sealed in a material that was similar to a felt cloth. I tried thinking of how I could open it but it was of no use either. I almost gave up and wanted to think that it was just a pretty blue block which only purpose was for decoration, but my idea was completely rejected by him. He insisted that it was really only a box containing what he wanted to give me, the real present. And up to this point, I still do not know how to open it. I love puzzles so it was intriguing for me but now, I am not certain if I could even figure it out. It was then that our casual conversation started to become a serious talk.
At first we talked about the box. I asked him why he gave me a present when there is nothing to celebrate and he told me that it was a gift for being able to cook. He looked so happy that I could cook, as if it was his own achievement. I know that he just made that up because I asked him a question and I wouldn’t stop ranting about it unless I was satisfied with the reason. I let it slide and our conversation changed to our birthdays. We both don’t know when each other’s birthday was. I easily gave him mine because it was a long way to go. He was different though. He was very hesitant to tell me his birthday at first, but I asked him little by little and he finally gave in. His answered made my bodystiffen for a second, as if all the tires inside my body got stuck.
I had not expected the date. It was like fate playing a trick on me. Maybe she really is. Jacob’s birthday was the day when we first met, when my boyfriend for years broke up with me. He was celebrating on a day when I was crestfallen. Somehow, I felt sorry for ruining his birthday. But a part of me was probably glad that he came to me on that day as well. Why? Because ever since then, he was always with me.
The talk about the birthday, making me remember some things that happened roughly a week ago, led to something serious. The question that has been sleeping in my unconscious was finally asked. I ws alone in the park in the middle of the night and he came up to me with a rose. I have not really thought about the reason as to why he would do that when we were both strangers then. Well, deep inside me, I probably already knew the answer and I was right.
A dare among his group of friends started it all. As a girl, I should be angry for being played on and being kept in the dark about it for so long. However, I am not a normal girl, and so I was not even the tiniest bit angry at Jacob for making me a subject for a dare. And we might have been thinking the same way too.
I don’t know if I should apologize for it or not, but I know that I did not regret doing that dare. Because it started what we have now. I get to know you because of that and I was able to be with you. So I don’t regret doing that dare.
He told me that as he knelt down in front of me, holding my hands with eyes intently set on me. I felt my heart skip a beat from his action. I did not know why he did it either but I knew very well that his words were sincere. I wouldn’t want him to apologize for doing the dare either. It felt like he would be saying that what he did was a wrong thing, and so was meeting me. If he ever apologized, I would probably think that everything that happened until now was just a game for him. I am not angry at him for doing the dare but if he ever admitted that everything that he did until now was only because of the dare, I would probably be hurt so badly. The thought that all the kindness that he showered me with was only because of a dare is something that I couldn’t endure. Even so, I know that I still wouldn’t be mad at him. At least, if everything that we have now was only because of the dare, that fake relationship that we have is what saved me. The fact that he was the one who kept me from falling into darkness would not change no matter the situation. He would still be my saviour despite everything.
It was then that I thought was the best time to fulfill Kyle’s condition. It took me a while but I mustered the courage to do so. I loked at him straight in the eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn’t do it. I immediately thought and let out a long sigh. I was so close to saying it but I couldn’t. I had no idea that saying something so simple was this difficult. I didn’t know that admitting you like the other person was this much of a challenge. If I think back about it, it seemed so natural to me saying that i liked my ex-boyfriend. Oh, no. I shoulnd’t think about him for now. I had Jacob now. It would take me a long time to forget my ex, but I know that i can do that. I know that Jacob will be there for me.
Since I started to speak, he was urging me to tell him what I wanted to tell him. I was glad that I was able to dodge it by asking him about something that he had been wanting to tell me since the other night. Using that I was able to stop him from questionning me further. Then he invited me out for a date, and not a baby-sitting. I asked about it but he only told me that it was a surprise. Despite not knowing anything about it, I know that i would like it. I have always liked everything that he showed me after all.
I guess I could call it a night of suspended revelations, and all our unspoken words would be heard tomorrow. That which I wanted to tell him, and that which he wanted to tell me will both be spoken tomorrow. I didn’t know whether to be excited for tomorrow or not. I wanted to be excited because I would be able to finally hear what he wanted to tell me since the other night. However, the condition that Kyle imposed on me has not been fulfilled tonight and I’m still not sure whether I can actually say it. Confessing is not exaclty part of my everyday life, but I will tell him because I promised Jacob that I will tell him tomorrow.
Subject for revision.
Go Brazil. I wanna see your team against Germany too. 🙂