The Broken Time

03/01/2013 § Leave a comment

Since four years back, I have always thought that my time was stuck on a certain frame, and has never moved since then. At one point, I realized that it doesn’t make sense to keep it still but I just couldn’t do anything about it. I thought I was living a life of dullness and everything seemed boring.

For the whole four years, I was living my life like normal. It was, however, boring and full of monotony. I only went with the flow since it was easier that way. There were not much things that I find exciting though I look for interesting things by myself. I went abroad for my internship, worked everyday, came back to finish some last courses, busied myself with school affairs, graduated, looked for a job, and came here to work.

After that, time seemed to move slowly but it was quickly accumulating. Now, it was four years ago. I tried my hardest to get over it and to not think of it. It was a difficult feat, and I regretted some things about it. There were still times that memories will flood my mind, and the emotions will overwhelm me. I hated that. Lately, it didn’t occurred to me as much as before. It was better that way. I never wished to forget it. If I did so, I feel like I was denying it. Those times were precious to me but I cannot treasure them forever. Letting go of important things is part of living and being matured. It was never easy of a responsibility.

It was now 2013. I included in my resolutions that I will keep disturbing stuff with 2012 and welcome new things for 2013. I have found a new interest. It wasn’t that long ago. It was vague at the moment and I wasn’t serious about it yet. Scars from the past do not heal so fast. So, I am still afraid to hold onto my expectations. I am hoping to overcome my fears, little by little at least. Whether, it turned out good or bad, it was my first step to moving on.

[LVELJ.C12 03.01.2013]

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